“beauty is a sign of the morally good” I agree, but I believe this applies to capital B “Beauty“ not the beauty proxy we chase using lip fillers and the luxury brand items. The latter is just a flattened version of beauty made to sell and ultimately gain social capital.
True beauty, the one with moral significance, moves you and often has nothing to do with one’s appearance. Someone who is very clearly sick for example, could be beautiful because the may incite a deep sense of awe in you for many different reasons.
The attraction to health is biological and the attraction to other physical qualities is cultural/social. Beauty, it seems to me, lives in a separate realm entirely.
Although attraction is not something we have much power over at times, I believe the underlying reason for getting plastic surgery to become more attractive or prettier or sexier, should not be the value one attributes to themselves.
True and meaningful human connections / relationships are much more than an attraction to beauty, which again is very subjective. Culturally it varies, but from an evolution perspective we tend to be attracted to people that would give the best offsprings based on our on genes - see the immune system attraction theory (which was also seen during the Covid pandemic as many couples only had one of the two be sick and symptomatic).
On a side note, if you would like to find out more about the history of Plastic Surgery (which is much more than butts, boobs, and botox), The Facemaker by Lindsey Fitzharris is an excellent book! :)
Our deficits determine our taste: what we lack influences what we prefer in these dimensions.
I find this true but less complicated.
We want what we don’t have.
Love is complementary.
My taste is fluid.
The most attractive women in my life are the ones I have something to learn from.
In high school and college, I dated women who were the highest performing athletes because peak athletic performance was a core value of mine. Given their athleticism, they happened to be beautiful, driven, and come from moral families.
Now, I value the stability and grounded nature of my current girlfriend. She’s 4 years older than me and offers lots of wisdom into navigating the foray of your personal life and young adulthood. I bring professional skills and lessons of self-advocacy to get more for less.
Of course, we share many bonds, but in the context of this reflection— there is a taste there.
Props for the effort and the vulnerability to publish it, but I'm not loving this take. I agree with Brenda that lip fillers and luxury brands are a flattened version of beauty made to sell.
I wonder what the Buddha would say about attachment to our attractiveness. Surely, that our good looks, youth, style, coolness or whatever else, are already halfway out the door—fleeting and impermanent. Any clinging to them is only inviting suffering. In this case, the suffering of a ageing person who put too many eggs in the beautiful-basket and is left without the status and esteem that they'd relied on all those years and with the wrinkles that their botox tried to remove but ultimately couldn't.
Unconditional positive regard for oneself and divorcing our self worth from the imagined perceptions of others, this seems like the way to me. Happiness not in the somethingness of nice words, likes on IG or anything else, but in the nothingness of the silence and stillness of experience as it is—of you as you are.
I mean, I'm wearing a button up that matches my chinos right now. Perhaps I'm a hypocrite for not wearing a hessian sack or a collection of turtlenecks like Steve Jobs. Like I said, props for putting work out there. Takes courage.
Loved your article. It brings me an even deeper understanding to a piece that I wrote about the underlying motivations for people in Brazil to undergo plastic surgery.
As a Dutch woman, where plastic surgery is pretty uncommon, I was astounded by the prevalence of silicone-enhanced cleavages I saw on the beach in Brazil. There were even times when it was hard to spot real breasts, you know, affected by the forces of gravity.
I still don't understand that someone would risk their lives for liposuction, but I get the importance of beauty better now.
Here in Brazil, a hierarchical society deeply influenced by its immigrant roots, social bonds were and still are crucial for survival and safety. Thus, appearance becomes a critical asset for improving one’s life and creating stronger social ties.
Curious - how do you square the relationship between emotion and logic with pathologies like narcissistic behavior? Are those who exhibit deeper control over their emotions just more “in control” of their emotions that lead their thinking?
“beauty is a sign of the morally good” I agree, but I believe this applies to capital B “Beauty“ not the beauty proxy we chase using lip fillers and the luxury brand items. The latter is just a flattened version of beauty made to sell and ultimately gain social capital.
True beauty, the one with moral significance, moves you and often has nothing to do with one’s appearance. Someone who is very clearly sick for example, could be beautiful because the may incite a deep sense of awe in you for many different reasons.
The attraction to health is biological and the attraction to other physical qualities is cultural/social. Beauty, it seems to me, lives in a separate realm entirely.
Although attraction is not something we have much power over at times, I believe the underlying reason for getting plastic surgery to become more attractive or prettier or sexier, should not be the value one attributes to themselves.
True and meaningful human connections / relationships are much more than an attraction to beauty, which again is very subjective. Culturally it varies, but from an evolution perspective we tend to be attracted to people that would give the best offsprings based on our on genes - see the immune system attraction theory (which was also seen during the Covid pandemic as many couples only had one of the two be sick and symptomatic).
On a side note, if you would like to find out more about the history of Plastic Surgery (which is much more than butts, boobs, and botox), The Facemaker by Lindsey Fitzharris is an excellent book! :)
Great piece :)
Our deficits determine our taste: what we lack influences what we prefer in these dimensions.
I find this true but less complicated.
We want what we don’t have.
Love is complementary.
My taste is fluid.
The most attractive women in my life are the ones I have something to learn from.
In high school and college, I dated women who were the highest performing athletes because peak athletic performance was a core value of mine. Given their athleticism, they happened to be beautiful, driven, and come from moral families.
Now, I value the stability and grounded nature of my current girlfriend. She’s 4 years older than me and offers lots of wisdom into navigating the foray of your personal life and young adulthood. I bring professional skills and lessons of self-advocacy to get more for less.
Of course, we share many bonds, but in the context of this reflection— there is a taste there.
Props for the effort and the vulnerability to publish it, but I'm not loving this take. I agree with Brenda that lip fillers and luxury brands are a flattened version of beauty made to sell.
I wonder what the Buddha would say about attachment to our attractiveness. Surely, that our good looks, youth, style, coolness or whatever else, are already halfway out the door—fleeting and impermanent. Any clinging to them is only inviting suffering. In this case, the suffering of a ageing person who put too many eggs in the beautiful-basket and is left without the status and esteem that they'd relied on all those years and with the wrinkles that their botox tried to remove but ultimately couldn't.
Unconditional positive regard for oneself and divorcing our self worth from the imagined perceptions of others, this seems like the way to me. Happiness not in the somethingness of nice words, likes on IG or anything else, but in the nothingness of the silence and stillness of experience as it is—of you as you are.
I mean, I'm wearing a button up that matches my chinos right now. Perhaps I'm a hypocrite for not wearing a hessian sack or a collection of turtlenecks like Steve Jobs. Like I said, props for putting work out there. Takes courage.
Loved your article. It brings me an even deeper understanding to a piece that I wrote about the underlying motivations for people in Brazil to undergo plastic surgery.
As a Dutch woman, where plastic surgery is pretty uncommon, I was astounded by the prevalence of silicone-enhanced cleavages I saw on the beach in Brazil. There were even times when it was hard to spot real breasts, you know, affected by the forces of gravity.
I still don't understand that someone would risk their lives for liposuction, but I get the importance of beauty better now.
Here in Brazil, a hierarchical society deeply influenced by its immigrant roots, social bonds were and still are crucial for survival and safety. Thus, appearance becomes a critical asset for improving one’s life and creating stronger social ties.
Curious - how do you square the relationship between emotion and logic with pathologies like narcissistic behavior? Are those who exhibit deeper control over their emotions just more “in control” of their emotions that lead their thinking?